Being a Marriage Equality Ally
If you identify as straight or heterosexual, you can still make a difference for equality — even if you don’t have any family or close friends that identify as LGBTQI.
You don’t have to be political
If you don’t feel comfortable defining yourself as an activist, and can’t envision yourself taking part in a march or rally, that’s OK! There’s still a lot ways you can get involved to make real positive change in your community.
Make everyday changes
Sometimes the smallest things you do can help bring the biggest changes. Raise an objection when a friend or co-worker tells a gay joke or uses a derogatory term. Don’t omit mentioning your friends’ same-gender partners when discussing them — and don’t make a big deal of it either. Simply be open about being an ally and about having LGBTQI friends or family members.
Educate yourself on the issues
There a numerous resources around the internet, but I recommend starting with Freedom to Marry. Additionally, read through the provided talking points to the major arguments against marriage equality. Subscribe to blog RSS feeds to keep current with developments and stories happening on local, national and international levels. Visit your local library. There are fantastic books available about the history and arguments for and against marriage equality. Suggestions include Evan Wolfson’s Why Marriage Matters: America, Equality, and Gay People’s Right to Marry and Andrew Sullivan’s Same-Sex Marriage Pro & Con: A Reader.
Make supportive choices
Before voting, check the candidate’s record on issues that impact equality for LGBTQI people. If you belong to an organization that openly discriminates, quit and let them know why. Support national and local businesses that have inclusive policies or are LGBTQI-owned, and make it a point to avoid companies that have discriminatory policies or give money to opponents of equality.
Promote a safe workplace environment
Encourage and support policies that are inclusive for LGBTQI employees at your workplace. If your company has a networking group for gay employees, join and encourage them to reach out to other straight allies.
Ask respectful questions
If you’re not sure how your LGBTQI friends and family refer to themselves or their partners, take the time to politely ask them. It’s better to ask a question in a supportive way than to simply make assumptions or avoid acknowledging their relationships.
Talk to your kids
You don’t have to talk about sex to talk to your kids about a LGBTQI relative or family friend. Family is something that children understand — so don’t be afraid to talk to them about different kinds of families. Be mindful of intolerant messages your children might be getting from television, movies and even the other kids at school — and talk to them about assumptions they may have encountered.
Take Action
If you are ready to take your support of LGBTQI people and marriage equality to the next level, there are a variety of other ways to take action by contact your state or city’s organization. LIST HERE.
PFLAG
Some of the information on this page comes from PFLAG: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. Visit their Straight for Equality website for even more information about how to become an ally and get involved in the struggle for LGBTQI equality.
PFLAG: 10 Things to Do as an Ally in Your Faith Community
PFLAG: 10 Things to Do as an Ally
